D-Day in Europe coming in February

D-Day!D-Day in WWII was a success, albeit a bloody one, due to sheer volume. At least that’s the narrative. “The Axis powers ran out of bullets before the Allies ran out of bodies.”

That’s baloney. The invasion of Normandy might have failed if it weren’t for three years of quiet, behind-the-scenes smarts. Did you know the Allies had deployed a massive decoy army of 1,100 men? This “ghost army” planted hundreds of inflatable rubber tanks to confuse Axis air spotters. It carried on scripted conversations about phony invasion plans, knowing the bad guys would hear it all. It recorded sounds of bridges being built and artillery being loaded, all phony, and blasted that soundtrack using cutting-edge “boomboxes” into a 15-mile radius. The ghost army went to European coffee shops and talked loose about phony strategies — the 1940s equivalent of social media trolling. Historians figure the ghost army saved tens of thousands of lives by diverting some of Hitler’s army to phony hotpoints.

The other under-appreciated part of D-Day was the spontaneous, on-the-fly thinking. At first, the Allies were getting mowed down as soon as they hit the sand — if they could even get to the sand. Thousands drowned. The Allies were discovering too late that the preceding air attacks had missed the enemy fortifications on the hills. The cloud cover had thrown the pilots off by just three seconds, so the bombs went too far inland and blew up some cows.

Seeing the carnage on the beach, Allied destroyers defied orders by steering directly into the melee, risking running aground, and firing point-blank into the dug-in enemy artillery “pillboxes” on the cliffs. See ya. This unscripted move let the ground troops establish a beachhead and move inland.

Tesla’s takeover of Europe in February will also be seen as a crude Model 3 volume invasion, but we’ll never know the years of headaches in the war room that made this vehicle possible. And we’ll know only about the assembly “tent” as a symbol of on-the-fly bravado. Doubtless there’s an entire book’s worth of brain-warping agony that has culminated in Tesla’s imminent move into enemy territory with this Panzer-killer.

H-Hour, whenever it comes, will be a historic moment for the red, white and blue. And it won’t involve a whole lot of enemy fire. Actually, none.

Mike Myers AMG

“Tesla’s market cap is bigger than Daimler’s? That schweinhund Musk!”



One thought on “D-Day in Europe coming in February

  1. LakinPlates says:

    I always love your analogies – GREAT to have you back!


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