Kneejerk responses to Neuralink. Get it?

  1. Long live blogs. What other medium could handle this topic this well?
  2. Long live Tim Urban. When super-simple line drawings and basic language can convey extremely complex concepts, you know you’ve got a top-notch journalist.
  3. Long live anyone who is trying like hell to improve the human condition, and maybe even cheat mortality. Literally long live. Don’t leave us.
  4. Even if you can’t digest the massive Neuralink post, or don’t even have time to read 100 percent of it, you’ll never look at your smartphone the same way again. An auxilliary computer that you have to carry everywhere you go, and haphazardly tap with your fingers, and speak into, and hold up to your ear — and risk dropping in the toilet? Come on now. We can do better. Bring it “in house” already. Ditto the human scrotum, while you’re at it. Can someone please solve the thermal management riddle and get men’s testicles behind some bones where they belong? The future of the human race is dangling in a squishy, goofy-looking skinbag. And let’s not get started about male nipples. Why, why, why?
  5. When everyone can effortlessly soak up and transmit information, what separates smart people from dumb people? Well, existing technology should pose the same question, but doesn’t. Some people are just better at assimilating and regurgitating information and have more to say. Equal tech, unequal results.
  6. It seems we don’t like this idea of brain implantation, or any mental ability beyond the current norm. Every film that deals with next-level mental powers is a horror movie. Except Zapped!, starring Scott Baio and Willie Aimes. Actually, that might be the most horrible of all.

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