Are 5mph oopsie accidents about to end? Good!

Buried in the new NHTSA report, the one that exonerates AutoPilot, is a reference to Tesla’s new software initiatives aimed at mitigating some common parking lot disasters.

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TeslaMondo is pleased that Tesla is displeased with its super-intelligent cars driving face-first into signs, pools and walls. Remember this post, wherein TeslaMondo decries scenes of super-smart Teslas behaving no better than 1970s Datsuns when it comes to the parking lot pedal dance that trips up so many club-footed Americans?

The only problem with the Tesla initiatives is that their names just aren’t wordy enough. The world needs MORE complex names for software initiatives. How ’bout:

  • Stationary Object Embarrassment Avoidance Headslap Mitigation
  • Pedal Misapplication Detection with Litigation Deflection

“You see it’s a crazed job bringing up the rock generation.
It’s my motivation to avoid the nauseation frustration
When I need some lubrication, baby.” — Ted Nugent, Tesla software engineer

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