Naysayers running out of “yeah buts”


Short people got no reason to live.

In the face of Tesla’s GAAP profit today, the nincompoops say ZEV credits and postponed bills created inorganic black ink. What will they say next quarter? And the next? They’ll have to grasp at shorter and fewer straws, it seems, until they’re sharing the last straw with Bob Lutz.

With nearly a quarter of all TSLA shares shorted, it’s time to ask: What will it take to spark a short squeeze? Another GAAP-profitable quarter? Two? Or will the squeeze begin tomorrow? The seismic squeeze of 2013 began with a surprise quarterly profit, and the profit was “fabricated” in a similar manner — by pushing every employee to become a salesman and get cars delivered under the wire.

TeslaMondo thinks today’s news will prime the pump for a squeeze, but the squeeze will happen in drips over the next few months as Tesla clears logistical hurdles on the path to Model III. The last resident of Shortville will be Bob Lutz. Much like the old man who chose to die on Mount St. Helens instead of evacuating his cabin, Lutz will end up preserved in ash, clutching the keys to his Caddy ELR, which he scooped from a used car lot for pennies on the dollar.


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