The riddler again prods our imagination

Riddler TeslaMondo

Care to elaborate on the words “product” or “unexpected” or “most,” Mr. Riddler? Of course not, you scoundrel.

The Blair Witch Project was one of the most successful independent films of all time. Yet you won’t find any Blair Witch action figures. That’s because nobody knows what the Blair Witch looks like. No witch ever appeared on the screen.

Remember The Exorcist? How about Rosemary’s Baby? They didn’t show us the monsters. We got a nanosecond glimpse of an icky face in the former, and just some creepy eyes in the latter. Yet they’re both omnipotent horror films treasured by multiple generations.

The point is that human imagination can fill in the blanks quite well, often with better stuff than any Hollywood special effect could muster. Tesla knows this and uses it to torture us. Today Musk tweeted an upcoming product announcement that’s “unexpected by most.” Human imagination is now lighting up the internet on a Sunday night:

  1. It’s autonomy.
  2. It’s Model III.
  3. It’s Model Y.
  4. It’s Tesla Energy 2.0.
  5. It’s Roadster 2.0.
  6. It’s the debut of Gigafactories as a Tesla product line.
  7. It’s a collaboration with another automaker.
  8. It’s a motorcycle.
  9. It’s a Radio Flyer Model X.
  10. It’s vehicle-to-grid.

Quick reminder: Tesla has already built products that nobody thought possible, so an unexpected product announcement could mean just about anything including a Blair Witch action figure.

screen-shot-2016-10-09-at-7-28-52-pmWant an illustration of Tesla’s warping effect on the human imagination? Here’s an ostensibly serious infographic that compiles fun facts about Tesla. Well, fact #20 suggests the Gigafactory will swallow entire trains and turn them into batteries. Apparently it’s a wild misinterpretation of Musk’s comment about trains arriving on one end of the factory and finished packs emerging from the other. The trains will be carrying raw material, of course. They’re not the raw material themselves.

But, you see, Tesla has a devil’s grip on our imagination. Anything seems possible. Heck, cars could become submarines. Add that to the list above, why dontcha. We’re overdue for a Bond Submarine update. See below (far right). It’s been sitting there for so long that mice have probably infiltrated the glove box by now.


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