This kind of stuff makes TeslaMondo all the more proud of the prehistoric, unapologetic, inefficient deathbox that serves as daily driver ’round these parts.
It gets only about 28mpg despite weighing in at 2100 lbs and employing a Corolla engine. That’s pretty bad. It doesn’t run on solar energy or anything cool, but it fosters solar appreciation and general harmony between man and nature. Startled deer avoid injury by leaping right over you. Leaves fall into your lap. Acorns too. And caterpillars. Organic bliss! At sunset you can smell bark mulch, skunks, and whatever your neighbors are cooking — all mixed together. No joke!
Fake noises? Impossible, what with that signature Corolla, um, grunt just behind your skull. Sure, it often drowns in the rasp from nearby motorcycles and tractor-trailers — everything is pretty loud when there’s no capsule around your head — but at least you’re as one with gritty reality. Bonus: The skillset required for operating this machine is quite valuable. TeslaMondo’s other automotive skills, pinstriping and gold lettering, also have bright futures.