Three awkward starts for 2016

Awkward start 1: The stock market. China’s economy could be contracting, eh? And this means a worldwide depression, collapse of Tesla, and a starving populace gnawing at those Tesla leather scraps that were supposed to serve as iPhone cases, right? Pass the salt.

Awkward start 2: Model X’s agonizingly slow ramp. But congrats to Tesla for moseying out of the gate despite immense pressure to run like hell. Model X will soon fall into the salacious hands of Consumer Reports and Edmunds.com. Model S dysfunction caused coitus interruptus for both outlets. Model X needs to steer these media affairs to a satisfying climax every time.

Awkward start 3: Funny-Shaped Future (FF). Raise your hand if you expected an alternative — not a market-ready alternative, but at least a conceptual alternative — to Tesla products. Instead we got a wholly unmarketable race car and some talking points about modularity in battery design and platform. All quite cool, and a nice invitation to ponder the high limits of interchangeability in electric platforms, but hardly a material imposition on Tesla. Indeed, FF’s ploy is no farther along than Mission Eventually by Porsche. However, FF has successfully imposed on Tesla in Google searches this morning. If you Google “Tesla” and filter to the last 24 hours, you’ll see FF’s car. Mission accomplished, FF! And you’ve joined the list of “Watch out Tesla” headlines too.

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4 thoughts on “Three awkward starts for 2016

  1. Timmy says:

    Uh, I think you may have omitted the biggest one (and hopefully not omen) of all: the burning to a crisp of a Model S at a Supercharger in Norway on New Years day, for presently unknown though apparently non-external causes. Very “meta” of you, but it’s quite serious and should not be overlooked or minimized!

    (IMHO, and I’m a fan, if not fanboy (of Tesla)…)

    Like

  2. RWF says:

    That too.

    Like

  3. Biff says:

    Did you see Blackberry is now in it? You are on it right? At least this one did not say Tesla Killer.

    Like

  4. RWF says:

    On what?

    Like

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