Tomorrow’s call-in press conference will serve which purpose?
1. Reveal details about Model X? Nah. Too early. Besides, a measly one-day notice is too little. When it’s X-time, Tesla surely will make us suffer Hitchcockian suspense lasting much more than one day. And a phone-in conference makes no sense for a vehicle unveiling.
2. Reveal something big regarding Tesla Energy? Maybe a surprise impetus behind the Nevada land grab? A massive contract of some sort? That would mean a Tesla spokesperson brazenly bullshitted the WSJ yesterday about “solar farms.” Rupert doesn’t deserve such treatment — or does he?
3. Launch a new retail product line? Too early. That Burberry exec, Ganesh Srivats, hasn’t even picked out an office plant yet. However, maybe Tesla already had an idea in mind and hired Srivats merely to execute it. But that would involve a stage reveal, not a tele-chat with Musk.
4. Announce the public beta program for autopilot? Now we’re talking. That’s the kind of thing that falls short of a stage reveal but warrants more than just an overnight over-the-air surprise. TeslaMondo hereby predicts we’re about to go hands-free on the highway.
UPDATE: Nope on the autopilot. Luuudicrous mode instead. This means a whole lot of drag race rematches coming soon to YouTube.