Tesla isn’t joking around with service

Kenny Handkammer TeslaMondo

“Your glove box is rattling? I’m all over it.”

Tesla has hired a blood-n-guts Formula 1 service chief to revolutionize the servicing of purely electric cars that have no blood or guts. True, they still have suspensions, tires, brakes, HVAC, doors, windows, moonroofs etc. — presumably enough to keep Kenny Handkammer busy.

So here’s the future of automobile service:

You have your car pre-diagnosed OTA. Then command the car to take itself to the nearest Tesla service center, where a pit crew changes the tires in two seconds flat and addresses the other already-diagnosed ills within a few minutes. Then the car comes back to your driveway. You pay via a smartphone app.

Either that or the pit crew comes to you. That seems like a liability issue, however, since your driveway would suddenly become a service center where the public normally isn’t allowed to enter due to insurance regulations. Hmm . . .

Also, if pure EVs require very little service, autonomous pure EVs will require even less, given the absence of hamfisted inputs from human drivers. No slamming on the brakes. No tire-squealing turns. No rabbit starts. No exceeding the speed limit, even!

Nevertheless, Handkammer’s presence suggests Tesla is plenty serious about improving automobile service. Want a glimpse of what innovation can do to auto servicing? Look at this comparison of Formula 1 pit stops from 1950 to today. Imagine if Tesla/Handkammer can bring about similar, um, “refinements” on the consumer end.

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