Tesla Gigafactory?

This means something. Or not.

Close Encounters TeslaMondoGigafactory speculation is shifting a bit from “Where will Tesla break ground?” to “Has Tesla already broken ground, those sly dogs?” TeslaMondo reader Walt Parkman has raised that possibility in the “About” section, after pressing the same red button in a Tesla forum too. Seems he’s been snooping around Sparks, NV, immediately adjacent to Reno. Lots of earth is getting pushed at 2641 Portofino Drive, at Tahoe Reno Industrial Center. Ok, big deal. Except the site is heavily guarded. Ok, big deal. Except one of the “guards” is calling it “Project Tiger.” Ok, big deal. Except Tesla has fallen silent about site selection lately.

TOO silent . . .

“This means something,” we might mutter to ourselves if we study our mashed potatoes too closely. It means the company is keeping us in suspense with this “choosing sites” ruse while it’s already bulldozing on the sly, hiding the preliminary stage of a huge factory project in plain sight while we naively expect an announcement first and bulldozing second. Surely if meddlers like Mr. Parkman get too close to “Project Tiger,” Tesla will follow the Close Encounters of the Third Kind plot line and arrange a cover story with local officials to evacuate the area. A gas leak hoax, perhaps. Is a Martian rendezvous coming soon? Will TeslaMondo’s banner image — Musk anointed b2641 Portofino Dr., TeslaMondoy Martians — really take place? Or will Mr. Parkman be the lucky one to board the mother ship, a reward for sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong?

Or is “Project Tiger” really just “Project Pepperoni”? One commenter here says the permit for 2641 Portofino Drive was pulled by a pizza company for a new factory. Why can’t anyone just go to the horse’s mouth, City Hall, and find out who is behind the project? Well, the entity might be anonymous at this stage of construction. As this article points out, permits for mere site-clearing can be requested and granted without naming a company at all. No-name bulldozing avoids some NIMBY agita from locals and who knows what other red tape. There’s something to be said for discretion.

And there’s something to be said fDanny the Shining TeslaMondoor minding one’s own business. In The Shining, Danny was warned to stay away from room 237. Maybe Mr. Parkman should get on his Big Wheel and pedal away from 2641 Portofino Drive — and straight to City Hall to rule out this pizza factory thing.

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